Lou’s View – June 11, 2015
So You Think Your House is Haunted
by Lou Bernard
Okay. So you’re waking up in the middle of the night hearing noises, and you know they’re not from your spouse. Things move around, the lights turn on and off, and you’re pretty convinced you have a ghost. Now what?
First: Stop drinking cheap brands of whiskey. Did that help? No? Then you maybe need some paranormal investigation.
As most of my readers know, I am a member of the Lock Haven Paranormal Seekers, who look into the unexplained. (There isn’t much point to looking into the explained. It’s boring.) We are always available for free investigations, and you can reach us at 570-484-8292 or HYPERLINK “mailto:LHPS@lhparanormal.com” LHPS@lhparanormal.com.
Or, if you’d like to do some investigating on your own, I can tell you how right here.
There really are no professionals in ghost-hunting, at least no reputable ones. It’s not an established enough science that people should be charging for it. I met one guy who told me that he charges up to fifteen hundred dollars for investigations—No joke. “My time is valuable,” he said. Well, my time is also valuable, and I wasn’t going to waste more of it talking with him.
LHPS does investigations for free, and I would be hesitant to recommend any group or individual who requests payment.
If you want to take a look into your own home, I’d recommend starting with the history. You can find the deeds at the Register and Recorder’s office in the courthouse, and obituaries at the Ross Library. It’s not too hard, if you understand what you’re doing, to find out who has died in your home in the past.
Once you’ve found out all the gruesome deaths that have taken place in your home, assuming you still want to live there, it’s time for the real investigation. You’ll need a few items. Personally I recommend just going to Wal-Mart and buying everything in the electronics department, on the basis that you’re going to wind up with it all anyway.
But if you want to make a list, here are some things you should purchase. A digital camera. A digital recorder (or a standard tape recorder works just fine, if you can find one.) An EMF detector—These can generally be found in hardware stores under the more boring name “non-contact voltage meter.” A laser thermometer.
Once you have all of this, plus a notebook and pencil, you’re ready to start. And a watch. You should have a watch. A couple of flashlights are a good idea, too. Maybe a first aid kit.
Do a sweep of the room or house. Check everything—Check temperature, weather conditions, and make a note of the time you begin. Take photos from many different angles. Use the EMF detector to check for electromagnetic levels—It can find electricity, which is not so remarkable right by an outlet, but in the middle of the room with nothing around, might be something that’s hard to explain.
DO NOT use any downloaded cell phone app labeled “paranormal.” Many of them are unreliable; they’re made to be, essentially, toys. Most of these apps are designed to play around with, not for serious investigation, and some of them even insert unwanted false evidence into photos or recordings, and if I get one more person with a cell phone coming to all thrilled because of one of these stupid apps, I’m going to scream, and I don’t care if I’m on Main Street during rush hour….
Okay. Sorry. Lost it for a moment there. Turn on one of the recorders and let it run. Quietly, sit down and ask random questions. You’ll get over that “I feel stupid” feeling soon enough. Ask names, genders, ages, whatever you can think of. If there are any sounds that happen during your recording, such as a dog barking or a car riding by, say so—Tag the noise by saying “Dog,” or “Car.” This makes things easier during the review phase.
Once you’ve recorded a few hours’ worth of sound, and taken maybe fifty million photos, you’re ready to review. If you thought paranormal investigation was going to be a thrill a minute, like they show on TV, this is the part where you realize how wrong you were. (I don’t like the TV shows, either.) Sit and listen to your recordings, check your photos.
Make a note of it if you see or hear anything unusual, and try to find an explanation for anything you notice. Remember, you’re trying to rule things out. If you claim a place is haunted because of noises, and the next guy comes along and proves it’s just a loose window panel, you’re going to look pretty foolish.
If you have any photos or sounds that you can’t explain away, then maybe you have something paranormal.
Sound like fun? Or does it sound too expensive and time-consuming? You got it. You can avoid all this by calling in the Lock Haven Paranormal Seekers. We’re available.
