Lou’s View

By Lou Bernard

Whenever things get a little slow around here, I usually look to the Clinton County Times. If I’m stuck for a column idea, the Times never lets me down. This paper ran for most of the twentieth century, and for most of that, it was absolutely insane.

The Clinton County Times loved reporting on the most entertaining stuff, much of which I’ve written about before. Some of the best moments in the paper’s history come from when the editors decided to take a stand.

They would draw a line and write editorials announcing their side of some issue, and it wasn’t always a comprehensible issue. In addition to the usual politics, the Clinton County Times also took firm positions on painting the courthouse vault, the dogs who’d chased an editor on his way to work, and the serving of alcohol in specific bars in communities.

The Times was happy to insult and argue with other newspapers sometimes, as well. They pretty much trashed every other newspaper in the county at some point, all of which makes a very entertaining read.

So all of this is my way of leading up to the editorial on April 5, 1912, which I found randomly in the archives while I was looking for a column.

The Times came out strongly against swearing, specifically in Avis.

“The prospects in our little town are very bright in many ways,” the Times reported,”But there is one drawback that your valuable paper may call attention to in such a manner as will assist to eradicate the trouble and thus confer a lasting benefit on our community. The trouble referred to is only a matter of habit, but in this case is a mighty bad habit.”

The Times also had a way of dragging out the point.

This was on a short column on page two of the issue, right alongside columns that mentioned light news in Mackeyville, Salona, and Tamarack.

“The violation of the Third Commandment is no small offense as denoted in the command itself and the persistent profanity by so many of our young men, and some of the older ones, has few parallels in this or any other state for a town this size,” they continued.

I admit I had to go look up the Third Commandment, but the @#$% Times was strongly against swearing.

Specifically citizens of Avis swearing, for some @#$% reason, which makes this whole thing even more amusing to me. What makes this even more entertaining is that Avis wasn’t all that old at the time—It was founded in 1910, and was still fairly small. The Times had reported on events in the Schreckengast home, a baseball game, and the Ladies’ Aid Society, and apparently had encountered enough cursing to declare Avis one of the worst in the country.

I mean, what the @#$%?!?

“There is no possible benefit in the degrading habit; it does not emphasize language nor increase respect for our town; it is a disgrace and we all feel humiliated to think that our town should be brought into disrespect by the disgraceful and silly habit of profanity,” the Times concluded.

Some of this was laying it on a bit thick, perhaps. The “our town” part was amusing, as the Times was based in Lock Haven, and they never really do explain who the “we” was. The Times was kind of full of $%*&, is what I’m saying here.

But by the next issue, they’d apparently abandoned the cause and gone on to report on a few church sermons and music concerts. So maybe they solved the swearing problem in Avis within a week, which is pretty good, even for the @#$% Clinton County Times.