MEAT THE THIEF
By Lou Bernard
Five years ago, when we were adopting my son, I had an interesting encounter with a guy trying to sell meat out of the back of his van. I assume it was his van, anyway. When you see someone selling raw meat out of a van, there’s every reason to figure that he has not necessarily been through all the legitimate regulatory procedures. At any rate, when I said I was heading back to the hotel to be with my wife and adopted child, this obvious felon became very warm and supportive, shaking my hand and congratulating me on the adoption. I love New Orleans.
At any rate, this makes me wonder why there’s never been a good heist movie created around a plot of stolen meat. Based on my experience, you’d think that would work out. But there’s never been an Ocean’s Eleven movie about meat, or one based in Salona. Maybe that needs to change.
I recently turned up a 1941 newspaper article that outlines the plot for that movie. It began,”A case of allegedly stolen meat products came to a head in the office of Justice of the Peace A.S. Cross here this morning.”
The setting: Salona, Pennsylvania. The Morrison meat plant. The employees had a special deal where they could take home their own meat, by either paying cash or having the cost added to an employee account. The procedure was to complete the transaction before taking the meat out of the plant. It seems to have been a good deal for the employees. Two of these employees were Melvin Barner and Robert Ungard, both of Salona.
Both men were not exactly upstanding members of the community; earlier that year they’d been put on parole for the theft of lumber from a lumberyard owned by Lewis Knapp, also in Salona. Working at the meat plant, they were attempting to go straight. At least, one of them was.
On Tuesday, October 7, 1941, stolen meat was spotted in Barner’s car. The newspaper referred to it as the “Case of the Stolen Meat,” which can be taken two ways. The case contained fourteen pounds of ham and six pounds of sausage. Also a pan of scrapple, so you know this happened in Pennsylvania.
The prevailing attitude wasn’t so much a “whodunit” as a “get ‘em!” Morrison, the plant owner, called the police. Barner and Ungard were both arrested and taken to Justice of the Peace A.S. Cross of Mill Hall. Barner claimed innocence, in spite of the fact that the meat had appeared in his car.
Cross held a hearing, calling some of the employees in as witnesses, and it turned out the Barner seemed to be telling the truth. He’d been in the plant the whole time, which cleared him. The newspaper reported,”Barner, who was in the abattoir with Ungard at the time of the discovery, claimed that he had not taken the meat, and at the hearing it was brought out that he had not left the abattoir from the time of his entrance until the meat was found. Therefore, although the meat was in his car, it was not actually in his possession and had not been transported, and Justice of the Peace Cross discharged the case against him.”
That left Ungard. He chose to plead guilty, and his explanation was that he’d intended to buy the meat, storing it in Barner’s car with the plan to pay for it later, and he hadn’t mentioned this to anyone. This went over about as well as you’d expect, and Cross held him over for court on five hundred dollars bail, which is seventy-seven billion by today’s standards. Barner was free to go, and presumably to return to work.
Okay, so maybe it wouldn’t make such a great movie. It does lack drama. But I’m sure that meat salesman in New Orleans would go see it, so there’s one ticket sold right there.
