Lou’s View – Feb. 27, 2014
By Lou Bernard
Cleanup on File Two
I have this file on my desk. It’s a plain manila folder labeled “Articles.” Whenever I’m doing research, and I turn up something I think might make a good column, I make a copy and put it in the file. And then I promptly forget about it, until I’m stuck for an idea. At which point, I open the file and grab whatever looks good. This method enables me to crank out a couple of columns each week, even when I can’t think of a thing.
Several months ago, I noticed that the file was getting pretty thick. So I pulled out several pages that were interesting, but I knew I’d never get a whole column out of them. And I combined them all into one big column. That one, as I recall, involved theft, a homeless insane lady, and a woman who couldn’t spell.
Well, I notice the file is getting too thick again. So it’s time for another one of those.
My first one comes from the Clinton Democrat in 1853, and is headlined “Horrible Developments.” It tells the story of a stranger who arrived at a local restaurant, and was promptly murdered by the cook. The cook hacked him up and cooked the stranger into a soup, which he then served to the customers. In the last line, it was revealed that the stranger was a turtle, because that passed for humor in 1853. “He has a large family somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean,” the article said.
Did you know that there used to be a zoo at the Fallon? I mean, not the kind of fiasco with drunk college kids, but an actual zoo? Me neither, until I found a piece from the Democrat in 1876. It said,”The Zoological Garden at the Fallon House Yard is growing. The animals now on exhibition are Guinea pig, possum, coon, squirrel, Maltese cat, all in one cage.” Which sounds like the bets thing to do for a zoo, is put animals that eat one another in a cage together. It continues,”To make things more lively for the happy family, a rooster has been put in. Ike the monkey is allowed the liberty of the garden at large.”
In the same issue, they mention that the annual carrier pigeon race was postponed, because apparently that was a thing once. It was to begin in at the train depot in Lock Haven and end in New York, but it was held off because of the cloudy weather. They planned to hold it the day after, weather pending. And assuming the birds were willing to fly to New York.
In 1944, the headline was “Mystery Car Is Stolen One.” A maroon Plymouth was found sitting at the corner of Main and Third Streets for several days—Not far from my office window, actually. It turned out to have been stolen from Jacque Wilson, and then abandoned. Wilson got the car back several days later.
Two years later, on July 3, 1946, people who mailed letters from the mailbox on the corner of Main and Vesper were in for a shock. A literal shock—Lightning and rain caused a short-circuit in the street light, which electrified the mailbox and turned it into, essentially, a large prank. “Letter-mailers were prompt in letting go of the letter drop,” the papers reported. The police were contacted, and the wiring was fixed—Though it would have been amusing to just leave it the way it was.
On Halloween morning, 1967, a water main broke midway between McElhattan and Lock Haven, cutting off water supply to most of the city. Hammermill closed, and the hospital immediately rationed their water. It had happened because the landfill compactor had backed over the water main and broken it, flooding the landfill. The paper reported,”There were those men who went to work without the usual morning shave. In fact, in some sections, people could not even wash their faces or brew a cup of coffee.” Which makes it a good thing this happened before I was born—I can’t so much as pretend to be productive without coffee.
The break happened at about 5:45 in the morning, and crews were at work throughout most of the day fixing it. Which meant that, for Halloween 1967, kids could have all the candy they wanted, but God help any child who asked for a glass of water.
My file is looking a bit cleaner now, which was the point. Give me a few months to fill it back up, and we’ll have another column like this. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this one—Let’s have a glass of water and some turtle soup sometime.
