Lou’s View – July 23, 2015
Happy Birthday to Me
by Lou Bernard
Before I even begin the article, let me make it clear—I am not expecting anything here. Yes, I’m writing about my birthday, but I do not expect anything from anyone. No cards. No presents, like those Bigfoot T-shirts that I wear, or comic books, or those superhero action figures I collect. I don’t expect anyone to bring me cake. Even though today is my birthday, I don’t expect anything. Not even peanut butter icing. It’s my favorite.
So today I turn forty-six. A few years ago, when I turned forty-three, I wrote an article about what was being reported on my birthday. Strangely, in spite of the fact that I was being a deliberate attention sponge, the editors let me get away with it. So, having learned nothing, I’m trying it again.
I pulled the Record from the Ross Library’s archives, and looked to see what was being reported back on July 23, 1969. Oddly, my birth was not mentioned—The Clinton County newspaper didn’t feel the need to send someone to report on an insignificant farmer’s baby a hundred miles away.
What was mentioned, right on the front page, was the East End bridge. The bridge in eastern Renovo was in need of repair, or as the headline put it, “Bridge At East End Disintegrating.” Accompanying photos showed cracks in the bridge and made the readers terrified to go anywhere near it. Pieces of concrete were falling off, and engineers were quoted as saying that it had fifteen years left before it absolutely had to be demolished, which is about how I feel now that I’m in my forties.
The biggest story in the nation was the Apollo 11 moon mission, which was just about over. The astronauts were on their way back, and everything was going according to plan. NASA spokesmen said,”Performance of all systems continues to be normal.” (Which also describes how I feel in my forties.) Let the record show that only four decades later, I would be watching “Dancing With The Stars” and screaming at the TV,”Kate Gosselin lasted longer than Buzz Aldrin? What kind of a country do we live in?!?!”
Little Sandra Shank of Owosso, Michigan, was visiting her grandmother in Renovo for the summer, and celebrated her fifth birthday while she was there. She had a party, with presents, and her grandmother baked her a cake. With her brother and sister, little Sandra celebrated as she turned five, and apparently THAT was important enough for the newspapers to report on, but not MY birthday. So sorry for not being five already in 1969, Record. But now I’m grown and mature enough to have my own column, so who’s got the coverage NOW, Sandra? Huh? Huh?
Another important story was “County Jail Outmoded.” A report from the state said that the county jail in Lock Haven was “outdated and outmoded, though in fair structural condition, considering its age.” (I’m seeing a lot of parallels here—Again, this describes me in my forties.) Sheriff John Boyle had twelve prisoners at the time, all adult males. The prison had recently been repainted, and twelve new mattresses were on order. The state inspectors were recommending that the back door be replaced, the courtyard wall be shored up, and that confinement in the jail be kept to a minimum in the meantime, which is an amusing concept. Apparently in 1969 it was considered acceptable to tell the prisoners they could spend time outside, just as long as they promised not to run off.
But the area’s big story—Aside from my birth—Was the upcoming Flaming Foliage Festival. Ned Lunger was the general chairman at the time, which sounds like an unnecessary rank. (I wonder if he was a five-star general chairman.) Dick Carl of the Renovo post office and Dick Miller of the Jaycees were chosen as co-chairs to plan the festival. Lieutenant Governor James Broderick, who had the name of an action movie hero, had accepted an invitation to make a speech. And they were asking for more volunteers for the festival. I’d have loved to volunteer, but I was a little busy, you know, being born at the time.
So that’s what was going on around the day I was born. And as I turn forty-six, I just thought I’d write a little about it. But I’m definitely not looking for cake. Or science fiction DVDs. Or books. I’m not asking for anyone to get me any of that. Cash is always good, too.
by Lou Bernard
Before I even begin the article, let me make it clear—I am not expecting anything here. Yes, I’m writing about my birthday, but I do not expect anything from anyone. No cards. No presents, like those Bigfoot T-shirts that I wear, or comic books, or those superhero action figures I collect. I don’t expect anyone to bring me cake. Even though today is my birthday, I don’t expect anything. Not even peanut butter icing. It’s my favorite.
So today I turn forty-six. A few years ago, when I turned forty-three, I wrote an article about what was being reported on my birthday. Strangely, in spite of the fact that I was being a deliberate attention sponge, the editors let me get away with it. So, having learned nothing, I’m trying it again.
I pulled the Record from the Ross Library’s archives, and looked to see what was being reported back on July 23, 1969. Oddly, my birth was not mentioned—The Clinton County newspaper didn’t feel the need to send someone to report on an insignificant farmer’s baby a hundred miles away.
What was mentioned, right on the front page, was the East End bridge. The bridge in eastern Renovo was in need of repair, or as the headline put it, “Bridge At East End Disintegrating.” Accompanying photos showed cracks in the bridge and made the readers terrified to go anywhere near it. Pieces of concrete were falling off, and engineers were quoted as saying that it had fifteen years left before it absolutely had to be demolished, which is about how I feel now that I’m in my forties.
The biggest story in the nation was the Apollo 11 moon mission, which was just about over. The astronauts were on their way back, and everything was going according to plan. NASA spokesmen said,”Performance of all systems continues to be normal.” (Which also describes how I feel in my forties.) Let the record show that only four decades later, I would be watching “Dancing With The Stars” and screaming at the TV,”Kate Gosselin lasted longer than Buzz Aldrin? What kind of a country do we live in?!?!”
Little Sandra Shank of Owosso, Michigan, was visiting her grandmother in Renovo for the summer, and celebrated her fifth birthday while she was there. She had a party, with presents, and her grandmother baked her a cake. With her brother and sister, little Sandra celebrated as she turned five, and apparently THAT was important enough for the newspapers to report on, but not MY birthday. So sorry for not being five already in 1969, Record. But now I’m grown and mature enough to have my own column, so who’s got the coverage NOW, Sandra? Huh? Huh?
Another important story was “County Jail Outmoded.” A report from the state said that the county jail in Lock Haven was “outdated and outmoded, though in fair structural condition, considering its age.” (I’m seeing a lot of parallels here—Again, this describes me in my forties.) Sheriff John Boyle had twelve prisoners at the time, all adult males. The prison had recently been repainted, and twelve new mattresses were on order. The state inspectors were recommending that the back door be replaced, the courtyard wall be shored up, and that confinement in the jail be kept to a minimum in the meantime, which is an amusing concept. Apparently in 1969 it was considered acceptable to tell the prisoners they could spend time outside, just as long as they promised not to run off.
But the area’s big story—Aside from my birth—Was the upcoming Flaming Foliage Festival. Ned Lunger was the general chairman at the time, which sounds like an unnecessary rank. (I wonder if he was a five-star general chairman.) Dick Carl of the Renovo post office and Dick Miller of the Jaycees were chosen as co-chairs to plan the festival. Lieutenant Governor James Broderick, who had the name of an action movie hero, had accepted an invitation to make a speech. And they were asking for more volunteers for the festival. I’d have loved to volunteer, but I was a little busy, you know, being born at the time.
So that’s what was going on around the day I was born. And as I turn forty-six, I just thought I’d write a little about it. But I’m definitely not looking for cake. Or science fiction DVDs. Or books. I’m not asking for anyone to get me any of that. Cash is always good, too.
