Remembering Patrick Dwyer: Husband, Father, Friend and Penn State Football Alumnus

By Pasquale Tartaro, Student Writer

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA – In the days leading up to the 20th anniversary of the tragic terrorist attacks against the United States, Penn State football recognizes the lasting impact of September 11, 2001 on thousands of families, including one of its own.

JoAnn Dwyer was not granted one last opportunity to speak to her late husband, Patrick, a former Penn State Football student-athlete, who was at work on the 105th floor of World Trade Center’s North Tower when the first airplane crashed.

Amidst a sudden nightmare, JoAnn could hardly process the devastating series of events that had transpired in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania, let alone her inability to get in contact with Patrick.

However, as time has passed by, such bitter deprivation of a formal farewell began to make sense to JoAnn.
“In the beginning I’m going, ‘where was my phone call,’” Dwyer said. “But it’s just symbolic of Patrick. If he called me, that was saying that he was giving up. So, there was no way ever (he was going to give up), because he was too powerful.”

Before the tragic events of 9/11, Patrick had been planning to take his six-year-old son, Brendan, to his first Penn State football game.

This Saturday, Brendan, along with JoAnn and his sister, Sarah, will serve as honorary captains at Penn State’s home opener against Ball State on the 20th anniversary of 9/11.

“It’s going to be pretty surreal,” Brendan said. “I haven’t had much thought about it because I’m sure it’s going to be a heavy moment.”

To the people who were fortunate enough to know him, Patrick was infamous for his ambition.

“He was incredibly intense,” JoAnn Dwyer said about her late husband’s diligence. “He had to be the best at everything he did.”

“Whatever he decided to pick up as a hobby, he wouldn’t stop until he got really good at it,” Patrick’s longtime friend Lou Alverio said. “His approach to life, his approach to work, his approach to his friendships…very intense, very matter of fact.”

It was this type of determination that propelled Patrick to earn a spot as a two-sport student-athlete at Penn State. Although he originally came to the university on a lacrosse scholarship, Patrick later walked on for the Penn State football team as a kicker.

“He loved being a part of Penn State Football,” former Penn State kicker, teammate and friend of Patrick, Massimo Manca said. “He was so proud when he made the team…that he was part of the football family.”

It was his involvement with Penn State Athletics, moreover, that allowed Patrick to meet JoAnn and eventually start a family together.

When the football team had arranged personal training sessions for Patrick during the off-season, JoAnn just so happened to work as a personal trainer at the gym in Long Island, New York.

Shortly after he had stepped into her gym for the first time, JoAnn knew that Patrick was “one of a kind, brilliant and driven.”

Coupled with the vigorous task of making a historic football program’s roster, Patrick was a left foot dominant, straight-on kicker, which made long distance field goal attempts more difficult.

However, as Manca quickly learned throughout his first year in Happy Valley, rigorous challenges only brought out the best in Patrick.

“Patrick always wanted to learn, he always wanted to get better. He would always ask me a ton of questions about the timing of it all,” Manca said. “He was not afraid to fail, I know that for a fact.”

After graduating in 1986, Patrick went on to work at Cantor Fitzgerald, where he earned his spot as a partner with the firm.

Alverio, who had been conducting business on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, met Patrick through discussions with Cantor Fitzgerald.

“Nothing would stop him from helping a friend, doing his job,” Alverio said. “If he cared about anything, it was very intense, very diligent.”

Within three months, the two became practically inseparable to the point where Alverio had moved into Patrick’s apartment in New York City.

Since Alverio had graduated from University of Pittsburgh, a frequent foe of Penn State football, there was no shortage of friendly banter between him and Patrick throughout the years they lived with each one.

“We used to always kind of just break each other’s chops,” Alverio said. “He had this Nittany Lion statue, and I always used to find it and hide it, and that became a long running joke with us.”

Whether he and Alverio were exchanging swings on the golf course, playing checkers or going to a sporting event, Patrick’s competitive edge was always on full display.

Even the way that Patrick walked with a purpose, Alverio noted, epitomized his drive to be the best version of himself.

“We would go to a bar to meet friends, he was always walking three or four steps ahead of everybody and I used to always say ‘what’s the rush,’” Alverio said. “Everything he did, he did with such a fervor that it was actually impressive to be around.”

When he and JoAnn decided to move to Nissequogue, New York, Patrick found himself commuting two hours from his home to work every day. However, he never allowed his heavy involvement with work to hinder his ability to spend time with his wife and two children.

“He was intensely devoted to his family,” JoAnn said. “He would get home on the 6:20 p.m. train and the minute he got home, the kids would go running after him.”

In fact, Patrick was offered jobs at other firms, but turned them down in sole consideration of their respective distance from his home.

“It was more money, but it was more far away,” JoAnn said. “Even when he went to other interviews, which happened a lot because he was always being recruited, there were some times where I didn’t even know how it went because Patrick was involved in so many things.”

On weekends, Patrick made sure to occupy the first tee times in the early morning at his country club, so that he could return home early and spend time with his loved ones.

“He took great pride in his family like he did everything else,” JoAnn said. “He was just always a hero.”

“My kids are the same age as his,” Alverio said. “So, it actually helped me become a better parent because I realized how good of a parent he was and would have remained.”

It was truly by example that Patrick showcased a warmhearted sentiment in regard to his family, likewise the everlasting friendships he possessed.

“You kind of lose touch with some of the friends that you make in college. With Pat, we stayed friends for a long time,” Manca said. “He was always someone who took care of you, someone who had your back. I think about him all the time.”

Following the conclusion of their respective tenures at Penn State, Manca and Dwyer took trips to the West Coast together. The special teams duo remained close friends despite their growing responsibilities and Patrick’s busy schedule.

“He was the kind of guy who was successful on Wall Street, yet when I was out of college and I would try to call him, he would answer the phone right away,” Manca said. “As busy as he was with his job, he always had time to talk to me.”

If there was anything that Patrick loved as much as his family and friends, though, it was his alma mater.
According to JoAnn, the Dwyer household features a Penn State themed room, Nittany Lions salad bowls, and an entire wardrobe dedicated to the Blue and White.

“Every single Saturday, we would always argue that we couldn’t go anywhere because we had to watch every single Saturday football game,” JoAnn said. “When there was a touchdown, he would be on speaker phone with his buddies, and they would do this chant.

“He wasn’t a guy who would like to go to a bar to watch Penn State games. He had to be in front of the TV, locked in, just screaming at the TV, almost as if he was participating in the game on the field. It was fun to be around.”

Throughout the four years she had with her father, Sarah spent many fall afternoons dressed as a Penn State cheerleader in support of the Nittany Lions.

“My mom used to always tell us…they would love to joke around and watch the games,” Sarah said. “We have a ton of Penn State stuff in the house.”

“Every weekend they had to be home, or else they would miss the Penn State game,” Brendan said. “We have jerseys in the basement and a Nittany Lion.”

Though he did not live to see them blossom as adults, Patrick’s sense of urgency is with his son and daughter at every step of the way.

“The kids are the same exact way (as Patrick was),” JoAnn said. “Overachievers in athletics, academics, and beyond intense.”

“Hearing about how he was this superstar athlete, great at school and then he got a job on Wall Street…I think it definitely set a high bar for the two of us,” Sarah said.

It’s especially important to Brendan, who now works as a commercial fisherman, that his mother’s strength and commitment does not go unnoticed, either.

“My mom doesn’t give herself enough credit because she also instilled that in us,” Brendan said. “(After our dad passed away), it was always, in honor of how hard he worked and the life he provided for us.”

“I sacrificed like you can’t imagine,” JoAnn said. “My focus was my kids. We’re still growing and I’m still learning as a parent.”

The Dwyer name lives on, especially at Cantor Fitzgerald, where Sarah works as a bond trader; for Patrick’s daughter, picking a career path was a virtual no-brainer.

“When I was in fifth grade…they asked ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?,’” Sarah said. “And I was like ‘a stock broker,’ even though I don’t think I knew what that was.”

There’s no downplaying the adversity the Dwyer family has faced in the past 20 years; however, an equal amount could be said about how the relationships between Patrick’s loved ones have grown stronger.

“It’s been an insane ride, an adventurous ride, there’s no doubt,” JoAnn said. “It was all about the three of us and focus, and we learned from each other. I learned so much from the kids too.”

“It was just us looking out for ourselves,” Brendan said. “It seemed like all three of us just had to work together for our common goal.”

In addition, Penn State’s home opener will mark the first time the Dwyers have attended a game at Beaver Stadium in nearly 20 years.

“It’s definitely an honor that they’re going to have us,” Sarah said.

Thus, Saturday’s game between Penn State and Ball State is truly bigger than college football; it will honor the victims, survivors and families impacted by the tragic events on 9/11.

For JoAnn, Brendan and Sarah, it will serve as a reminder that Patrick adored his family and would be emphatically proud of their resiliency.

As the Dwyers walk to midfield where Patrick once played, the Penn State community will commemorate a loving father, husband and friend who was lost too soon.

“It hurts so much, and we have done so much (since 9/11), we never skipped a beat,” JoAnn said. “It’s a shoutout to Patrick that we did it. It’s been a long road, but we did it.”