Lou’s View

By Lou Bernard

They say that money doesn’t grow on trees. But in 1899, there was at least one case of money growing in a garden. At least, as far as the wife of the house could tell.

An article in the Clinton Republican, from November 28, 1899, gives details about a con that a lazy husband performed on his wife….And it only cost him forty cents. Admittedly, forty cents is the equivalent of 6.5 million dollars today, but it was a good investment, considering the labor he got out of it.

There was a couple living in Woodward Township, and it was evidently time to harvest their potatoes. This was back in the days when everyone grew something—I’ve literally written articles about people whose occupation was “surgeon and farmer.” Pretty much everyone kept some sort of crops or animals back then, which didn’t leave a lot of free time. The husband of this couple seems to have figured out a way around that.

“The story is told of a Woodward Township man who worked the following scheme to have his wife dig the potatoes,” the Republican reported, I assume on a slow news day. The man planted a few coins in the garden, presumably about an hour before. Then he went out to dig.

“He sallied forth with a spading fork, and then after digging around for a while, came in to wash the dirt off a nickel and a dime—He had struck it rich,” the article said. “Back to the garden he went whistling ‘Sweet Marie’.”

The man made a big show of washing off the coins, mentioning them to his wife. She watched as he went back out to continue digging the potatoes.

A little while later, he came back in. This time, he’d found a quarter.

He washed the dirt off of the quarter, as well, and his wife watched. Not only was he finding money, the denominations were getting bigger with every discovery. Then the man made an announcement as he quit digging the garden for the day.

“Directly he came in showing a quarter, saying he could afford to take a nap, having made enough for one day, anyhow,” the article said.

He went upstairs and lay down for a nap, and of course by now you can see where this is going. His wife decided to go outside and see how much money she could make by digging up some potatoes.

“When he awoke,” the Clinton Republican explained,”His wife had the whole lot dug up but she hadn’t found a nickel. She doesn’t know yet that the mine was salted.”

So, by way of a prank, the husband got all the potatoes done with an investment of only forty cents, which he evidently got to keep. On the other hand, as this gag made the newspapers soon after, I can’t imagine his wife stayed in the dark for long, so I assume he paid for this stunt one way or another. The article doesn’t mention the names of the couple, but I figure it wouldn’t be too hard for me to find out. All I’d have to do is run down to the courthouse, and check divorce records from late 1899.

The man was clever, but he may have out-clevered himself. I can’t imagine he had a great time in his marriage for a while after that. But, hey, on the other hand, he didn’t need to finish digging his own potatoes.

That’s all I’ve got for this column. But I have others to write, and I’d better get to it. I wonder if I could maybe get them done by telling my wife I found forty cents in my word processor.