Lou’s View

By Lou Barnard

I met someone new last night. While we were chatting, it came up that I’m a paranormal investigator. It often does. And she said something like, ”Oh, my dad’s house is haunted! It’s built on a burial ground. We knew because he took a picture that showed faces in the fire. And we used a Ouija board. And of course there’s the place out in Castanea where those kids got hit by the train, and cars roll off the tracks….”

It bugged me all night. I wasn’t going to write about this, but when I got up this morning it was still bothering me, so here we are. There’s a lot to unpack here, so I’m going to take it one step at a time.

Short version: Aaaaaargh.

Longer explanation: When I investigate the paranormal, it’s all about the science. I’m looking for actual evidence that can be proven or disproven. And all of this….It’s terrible. It’s bad science.

Now, just a note here: Practically every time I write an article like this, I get some yokel who comes to me and interprets this as saying ghost-hunting isn’t real. That’s not the case here, and I’m not criticizing the paranormal in general. I do a lot of investigation. I’m saying there’s a right and a wrong way to do it.

The faces in the fire is, long story short, garbage. It’s an example of pareidolia, which is when people assign meaningful shapes, such as faces, to random patterns. This is what happens when you see shapes in clouds. It’s not really a lion up there, it’s just your mind making a connection due to the shape. And a few imagined faces in a photo is not proof of a burial ground. You know what is proof? Documented evidence, such as a historical record or archaeological dig. What this person did was to work backward, deciding that there must have been a burial ground because of what she saw. This is like claiming you cause rain because it began raining when you went outside.

On to the Ouija board. I constantly get people talking to me about Oujia boards, as if they’re not manufactured side by side in the same factory as Candy Land. They also aren’t science—They’re novelties that move when your hands drag the thing around. And don’t tell me about the time YOU tried it, and you totally weren’t moving your hands—I don’t care how still you think you’re being, your muscles will make small movements.

So, what’s the correct way to do it? Use instruments with a specific, objective, measurable result. I use equipment that tests temperature, magnetism, and electrical output, as well as cameras, audio recorders, and thermal imagers. None of which is subjective—All of this stuff will measure a very specific, undeniable result.

And this brings us to the thing about the railroad tracks. Specifically, this is a legend known as a gravity hill. It always involves a busload of children or high school football players (It’s always either small children or a football team) that gets hit by a train. Supposedly, if you park on the tracks, your car will roll uphill, out of the way.

This woman mentioned Castanea, but I’ve never heard it there. I’ve heard several spots in McElhattan where this allegedly happened, and some in Bucks County, New Jersey, and as far away as Utah. None of these stories ever come with proof, such as a newspaper article—It’s always word of mouth.

Clearly, there can’t be some epidemic of school bus and train crashes across the nation—I think I’d have heard. The sheer volume of suggested locations shows that this is just an urban legend, not an actual incident. I’ve actually been to a couple of these places, and sometimes it looks as if your car is rolling uphill, but that’s an optical illusion. (Also, at least two spots in McElhattan where this is said to happen, the car is clearly rolling downhill. If you aren’t aware that things rolls downhill because of gravity, I can’t help you.)

I love researching and discussing the paranormal. But I do it based on the provable science. This woman didn’t really understand that. But at least she didn’t bring up psychics, so she scored some points there.